lifes a beach

and so begins the week at the beach  its the same beach and cottage to every summer since before I have born and feel at home here listening to the waves with some explosions in the sky for backround is as close to perfect as you can get. Then there's the neighbours but that's another story  this year being the first being 19 we went out partying on the beach (best perk of being canadian ia the drinking age, even better in quebec where my 18 year old self had quite the new years) but as if partying at what seemed like jersey shore wasn't enough get to spend day after day on the beach  ahhhhh summer how love you

for the hell of it

ive traded one for the other. i deleted my facebook today and started with this, something i have no idea about. there is too much to say and rather than just keeping all these thoughts stuck in my head id thought id let them out here even if i am the only person to ever see them its still an outlet and right now thats all i need. alot has happened recently and ive decided to start this to keep track. theres a certain part of my life that i cant seem to let go of and its driving me insane. ive tried everything and still cannot seem to move on from this aspect of my life. what it is about him i dont know, but i just cant stop. recently however ive been trying. i havent been trying to forget about him, i am still madly in love with him, i am trying to have a life without him one that does not require me to think about him every minute of everyday. ive know him for years and have thought about him constantly since the day we meet and i want to change this. im going into second year and need to focus on myself. i will hopefully through this, find a way to let go of the things i need to yet hold on to whats important. this is not a blog about him. this is about how im going to try and live a life without someone i love dearly. this is about living for me and me alone